<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar/21817408?origin\x3dhttp://dead-sean.blogspot.com', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>
Monday, March 05, 2007

For the past few days, I was taken through a journey, a trip back to the old school, I was back to the time when I was Secondary 5, the time when I took my O'Level results.. The day when we will see some students laughing & smiling while others will be left crying & weeping.. It is also the day where students bid goodbye to their Secondary School Teachers... I was one of them last year..

I remembered it was end of February last year when we took our results & I was the last person in my class to get it.. That made me much more nervous as I see some of my friends crying, some smiling & some stunned when they saw their results.. I was wondering whether I would be crying or smiling when I take it.. Finally... It was time for me to take the results.. My heart was beating very fast & my palm was sweating..

The moment I saw my results, I had mixed feelings.. I did not know whether to cry or to smile.. I scored a distinction (A2) for my Combined Humanities & got a B3 for my English but I did not fare so well in my other subjects.. I admit that I put in alot of effort in my History & Social Studies & neglected my other subjects, that was why I did not fare so well in them..

The 1st teacher that I went to see was my History Teacher, Mr Alam, he looked at me & then glanced through my results.. His eyes was staring at my Combined Humanities grade, then he looked up & said: 'I thought you would get an A1'... The moment I heard that, I knew he was disappointed, he wasn't very happy.. All along I knew he had very high expectations on me, I knew all along he wanted me to get an A1 for my combined humanities, even though he has never said it before & I also know that he has all along wanted me to be the top in humanities in the whole school.. Then, I had a sudden feeling of guilt, a sudden thinking that I have let him down.. I have accomplished one of his aim for me, that is to top the school cohort in Humanities, but I have let him down because I did not manage to get an A1 for him... Then he continued: 'You've tried your best & you have done me proud'...

Mr Alam was my History Teacher ever since I entered Secondary School... He was the one who groomed me, he was a mentor, a father figure to me... He was a person who played one of the most important part of my life.. The person who shaped my humanities & the person who is responsible for my achievement.. I always had a huge admiration & respect for him & I still have.. He is the teacher that I respect most in my entire life.. He was the one who was pushing me & pushing me VERY HARD to get an A1, he gave me pressure, he made me work & he gave me countless of training, every ounce of energy he spent in class was grooming me in my History & I really really appreciate that..

The 2nd person I went to see was Mrs Sudave, my Social Studies teacher, another mentor of mine.. She looked at my results & said: 'Well Done... I'm proud of you'.. Mrs Sudave was different from Mr Alam.. She was the one who was motivating me, encouraging me to work hard to fulfil their expectations on me, she also showed huge confidence in me.. From there, I knew that I couldn't let the two of them down.. I've tried my VERY best & I've got an A2 for the both of them.. I know I've done the two of them proud, I know that Mrs Sudave is exceptionally proud with what I've achieved, being the top in humanities & got a distinction in it, but I've let Mr Alam down, he expected me to get an A1.. But I only manage to get an A2.. I'm sorry Mr Alam.. I've tried my VERY best..

Until now.. Every time when I think of it, tears will be rolling down my cheek, still regretting that I've let Mr Alam down, still guilty that I did not get an A1 for him..

*Thank You Mr Alam & Mrs Sudave.. You've shaped my life..*

Not only did I let Mr Alam down... I've also let my mum down.. She always wanted me to score well in my exams, especially my O'Levels, but I did not fare so well in it.. I'm sorry Mum, but I've tried, I have really tried & I hope you're proud of what I've achieved in my Combined Humanities... I'm Sorry once again...

Mr Melvin Lim was also another teacher who wanted me to score well in my O'Levels, he had faith in me that I would do well in my O'Levels.. But I did not & I know he is disappointed, even though he never shows it.. I just wanna say.. I'm Sorry Mr Lim.. I've let you down..

*I Love You NL*

i revived @ 9:05 PM